Recently, because of having to make some decisions, my belief about most of these questions has been reshaped. I find that God continually puts me in the position to re-think what I believe about Him. Is it not laughable how quickly we decide who God is and how He acts? No matter how often I remind myself that He is infinite, I always put Him into finite limitations. He seems determined to strip away any theological formula that I have built and rested upon as solid ground. Apparently, He will not share His glory with theological formulas.
In the decision I had to make, I knew that all three choices were good. I just needed to know which one He wanted me to take. I asked my parents and they thought any of the choices would be fine. He didn't use a verse to guide me. There was no guidance that I could see.
So, I asked people I trusted about how God generally leads or speaks to them. Through different people, by the agreement of the Bible and my spirit with little things they would say, God did speak to me. Not about where to go or what to do, but about how to trust Him.
I was, unknowingly, afraid God would punish me for making the wrong decision. Maybe I should choose something that would deny my flesh? Okay; but in this situation every decision was going to be a place of self-sacrifice and ministry to others.
This is what God did say to me when He wouldn't say what to choose:
Lauren, is your flesh crucified with me or isn't it?
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:24)
Am I your life or not?
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)
Have I given you a new heart or not?
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)
These took away my fear. Could it be true that, "There is no fear in love . . ."? I decided based on what I wanted. Could it be true that He gave me the desires of my heart because I delighted in Him and His will?
If God does not write your future for you on the wall, if He opens the doors to more than one good and God pleasing option; please do not fear but step ahead in faith. Faith in His goodness.
